Mistakes Made
by Life is just a tire swing
Summary: Jane has a little whiskey one night and calls Maura. How will they deal with the ramifications? This story has become a bit of a cavity inducing Rizzles fluff fest. Give it a read if that's your thing.
1. Conversations with Jack

**A/N I do not own the characters associated with the television show. The work and any OC characters created, are mine. Thank you for reading.**

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Rizzoli and Isles

Mistakes Made

Conversations with Jack

Jane, Maura

The lanky detective approached her best friend's front door with her usual swagger. After a quick solidifying breath, she rang the doorbell before waiting uncharacteristically still while standing at full posture.

The tell-tale staccato sound of heels coming toward the door heralded the impending arrival of the blonde ME before the door was opened slowly.

Maura's face was apprehensive as she stoically stood with the door open, hazel eyes locked onto brown ones. Jane was the first to break the silence after clearing her throat. "So, last night Jack and I had a conversation…"

The Doctor scoffed at this. "Jack wasn't the only one you had a conversation with last night."

Jane's reply was soft, but sure. "I remember our conversation very well."

Maura scowled, responding abruptly. "Well, then, Detective. If you recall the full conversation, you will also recall that I specifically asked you not to come over first thing and declare how enormous of a mistake it was."

With effort, the brunette met the intense scrutiny that had fallen many a great man. "I do recall that, Maur. I make a lot of mistakes…"

Maura uncharacteristically cut the detective off in a tone that Jane seldom had directed at her. "Then why in the hell are you standing on my front porch with fudge clusters and a pink rose if you made such a monumental mistake last night, Jane? Look. I get it. You ingested an indeterminate amount of a mood altering substance that is classified as a depressant. You then called your best friend and professed unending devotion and love to her. That's the same person, need I remind you, that emphatically begged you to not come see her and tell her how big of mistake it was upon waking from the likely alcohol induced slumber that surely followed. And yet here we are having the very conversation she pleaded not to have for the reasons she disclosed at the time of the incident. I cannot speak to you about this right now."

The unshed tears in the hazel eyes caused Jane to pause for a moment before continuing, but she knew she couldn't walk away without saying what she came here to say. She paused too long, and the doctor was speaking again. "I am certain the alcohol made you in to someone you aren't last night. I understand the need to imbibe occasionally to the point of overindulgence and I am aware that you were at a particularly low point in your relationship status. You don't have to tell me that it wasn't you talking, it was the whiskey. I know you well, Jane. I don't need you to explain all this. However, right now I cannot. Can. Not. Have this conversation with you. I have to be able present myself professionally to a group of my peers in D.C. in hours and I will be unable to accomplish that task to the best of my abilities if my heart is metaphorically breaking in my chest. Are you so mortified by what you said last night that you would deny me this request?"

Maura questioning the Detective's loyalty broke Jane from her reverie. "I did make a mistake last night, but I promise you, it isn't what you are thinking it was. I'll get back to that in a minute. Let's get a couple things straight first. I don't care what your science says, alcohol doesn't change your mood. It just amplifies who you are. I picked up enough drunks as a beat cop to know that there are all kinds of drunks and despite how many excuses their wives come up with, the alcohol doesn't change who they are, it lowers their walls enough to let it out."

The eye roll Jane received from the ME was encouraging. At least she didn't slam the door in her face. "Second, I'd like you to know I only had 3 glasses of Jack last night and the ones I did have were only a finger and a half. So no, Maur, the only thing alcohol induced about last night was the filter removal from my mouth."

The doctor's scowl softened to confusion at this statement and Jane began breathing easier. Maybe this wouldn't go as bad as she originally thought.

Sucking in a deep breath, the Detective determined it was time to go all in. "To preface my mistake last night, I have been making a much larger one. I woke up at 5 this morning and showered before laying back down in bed and staring at the ceiling. I have been terrified of telling you how I feel because I was certain you didn't feel that same and our friendship would suffer for it."

Jane cut her eyes as Maura went to interrupt once again. "Please let me finish. This morning I finally saw it. While it is true that I am protective of you, that only works because you let me protect you. And you only let me protect you because I trust you enough to let you protect me. Sure, there is a difference and we both know that most of my resistance is just for show, and I am going to be kicking myself in the ass if we do end up in a relationship now. The simple fact of the matter is that you wouldn't allow that to happen any more than I did. If you felt nothing for me and I told you my real feelings, you would save me from myself and our friendship in the process. I would give up my own happiness if it meant you got the life you wanted and there isn't a doubt in my mind you wouldn't do the same. The other possibility I was worried about would be that you wouldn't feel the same for me, but would agree to a relationship just to make me happy. You wouldn't outright lie, but it is amazing what you can do with the truth. The flaw in that, though, is that you, Maura Isles, do not endeavor in anything you don't want to. And if you don't want to do it, somehow the person who suggested it to begin with walks away arguing against it."

Pausing for a moment to put her thoughts in order, she heard the Doctor mutter to herself. "Lying down. You were lying down. Not laying."

The correction of her grammar made Jane feel lighter all of a sudden. Maura may not be happy, but at least she wasn't belligerently angry any longer. Hope began to blossom in the Italian's chest.

Jane stepped closer to her favorite person, causing said woman to look up at her. "The mistake I made last night wasn't telling you how I felt. It was in the way I told you. You, Maura Dorthea Isles, deserve so much more than I will ever be able to give you. But first and foremost, you deserve to be wooed and courted. There are a million ways that are more worthy of that moment than a late night phone call from your best friend who has whiskey on her breath. I should have kissed you softly on your couch after you fell asleep watching a movie. Or made my feelings known at one of those events where you drug me along as your plus one. I could have simply asked you out on a date or I don't know, form some kind of ridiculous flash mob. All of those would have been more fitting of a woman of your caliber. But I didn't. And I fucked up last night."

Showing her dimples, Jane continued. "Yes the fudge clusters are an apology. That apology is for how I told you and nothing more. Let me be clear. I want you however you'll have me, Maur. There is nothing in the world that would make me happier than being the one who holds you at night, but if all you can give is friendship, I'll take that just as greedily. Please forgive me for telling you in the manner I did last night."

She handed the fudge clusters to the ME. Chocolate eyes stared into hazel ones for an indeterminate amount of time before the Detective continued. "This rose symbolizes love. I love you. I love you as a friend. I love you as a confidant. I love you as the most wonderful person I have ever met. In fact, you are just that. You are my person. Your mind and heart leaves my stomach in knots and sometimes I don't even know how to handle myself when you are around and all I know is that I want to be in your presence. Whatever comes of this, please know that I love you with all my heart."

Jane handed the stunned ME the rose and then ran her finger tips along Maura's cheek. "I truly am sorry about last night. But now that it's out there, I couldn't be happier. I love you."

Moving the cheek tracing hand to the small of Maura's back, Jane leaned in and placed a soft, lingering kiss on a pale cheek. "Have a safe trip. Please text me so that I know you made it in OK. I will wait as long as you need for whatever decisions you make. No pressure."

Once she cleared Maura's body, Jane swiftly turned and strode confidently to her car. This morning had gone better than she thought, but she was still pissed at herself for fucking this up so monumentally to begin with. Maura would come to her when she was ready. Of that, Jane was certain. And the reminder of why Maura didn't want to hear how much of a mistake it had been last night, allowed her the smallest of hope.


	2. Watching Airplanes

**A/N All I can say about the overwhelming response is... WOW! Thank you so much for the support! I am speechless.**

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Rizzoli and Isles

Mistakes Made

Watching Airplanes

Jane, Maura

Jane pulled her unmarked car off the road and onto the gravel. After gaining her vehicular independence as a teenager, it had not taken the lithe brunette very long to find a place where she could come when she wanted to be alone or needed to work things through.

Shifting the car into park and killing the engine, she exited the vehicle. After sitting on the hood, she reclined onto the windshield giving her the perfect line of sight to observe the planes leaving Logan.

The irony was not lost on her that the person she was here to think about was most likely boarding one of those planes and getting ready to fly over this very spot. It brought a strange comfort to her that they would be connected despite the events of last night and this morning.

She didn't need Maura to know she was there for her, Jane was more than content to watch over her in silence. In a non-creeperesque sort of way, of course.

The Detective closed her eyes and soaked up the spring sunshine as it warmed her body. Coincidently, the only person she had ever shared this spot with was the Doctor herself. A small smile played along her lips as she thought of the time she brought her here. Maura had made an effort to be supportive and had bitten her lip so hard in an attempt to stifle her thoughts so Jane could "think" that she had made it bleed.

Wrapping her tightly in a hug, Jane broke the self-imposed silence and the two ended up laughing and talking like they had so many times before. It was one of her favorite memories of the two of them.

A car pulled up and parked. A door opened and shut as the driver got out. Resisting the urge to give into her curiosity, the Detective fought to keep herself relaxed and composed, not willing to give up her happy place. The weight of her holster was comforting on her side.

When footsteps began approaching her car, the Detective in her no longer allowed her to ignore her surroundings and she sat up slowly, squinting against the sun. Turning so that her legs dangled off the hood of the car, she gasped as she realized she was looking at a certain doctor's car.

Despite her heals sinking slightly into the loose dirt, Maura's posture and stride never faltered as she approached Jane's unmarked car.

Unsure as to if it was a good thing or bad thing that Maura wasn't on the plane she was supposed to be on, Jane tested the waters. "I would recommend wearing more appropriate shoes in the future, doctor. It wouldn't do for you to stumble and fall." It wasn't a yell, but Jane had raised the volume of her voice enough to carry to the approaching woman.

"I'll keep that in mind next time I come here in a hurry to speak to you, Detective." Maura's voice wasn't quite the tone she reserved for Jane, but it wasn't completely cold or distant either.

Despite her attire, Maura sat next to Jane on the hood of the car without hesitation. The two friends sat in silence for a few minutes as planes flew overhead and the rest of the world went on without them. In an attempt to demonstrate her resolve, Jane patiently waited for Maura to speak. By some miracle, she was even able to keep herself from the fidgeting that she was so prone to do.

She was rewarded relatively quickly. "The decision I needed to make actually has nothing to do with whether or not I love you as more than a friend. I have been in love with you for years, even though it wasn't until your stalker that I realized it."

Jane sat forward and put her hands down on either side of her torso, her long fingers following the fender down in an effort to keep herself as still as possible, silently hoping that Maura would continue.

She wasn't disappointed. "When I was kidnapped it occurred to me that someone who didn't actually know us might come to the conclusion that I meant more to you than your mother. If they truly wanted her, they would have outright threatened me, ensuring your presence with me, not Angela. That's when I started studying the way you interacted with me and came to the conclusion that my unrequited love might not be so unrequited after all. I was powerless to prevent myself from allowing hope to bloom."

Maura took in an uncharacteristically shaky breath before she continued. "Your phone call last night was overwhelming to say the least. You said all those things I had longed to hear and it took root in that hope."

She paused and looked at Jane. "Then the realization came that you were inebriated and I knew as soon as I heard those words you would never say them sober and there was no doubt in my mind that you would regret every moment of that phone call."

Maura was leaning forward on her hands in a similar manner to Jane. She reached out with her pinky and ran it along the Detective's before linking their fingers. "I implored you to stay away because I needed time to get a handle on my feelings before you shattered me. But you didn't listen. And you came by this morning and you told me those very words I knew would bring me to my knees."

Jane turned her face to Maura, permitting the Doctor to see her eyes shining with emotion. She regretted those actions with every fiber of her being and she wasn't ashamed for Maura to see that. In fact, she desperately needed the most important person in her life to understand that, so she sat unmoving and returned the Doctor's gaze without closing herself off.

The vulnerability that Jane permitted Maura to witness seemed to be exactly what she was looking for. With a barely perceptible nod, the honey blonde continued once more, a decision seemingly made. "Your words this morning did bring me to my knees, though for a very different reason. They were heartfelt and true and most importantly came at a time when most people would be hiding in embarrassment or shame. But not you, Jane. No, you defied everything I asked of you, twice. You pushed in and made sure I understood and made me see what you were trying to say to me. And it isn't the first time you have done something like that for me. You have done it hundreds of different times in hundreds of different ways. You never leave me to my own devices to wallow or hide. You always bring me with you."

Maura placed her hand fully on Jane's, her fingers fitting between the ones resting on the car. "And that is why I cancelled my professional obligations this weekend and why I came to the place I knew you would be. You go out of your way to make sure I fit, specifically that I fit with you."

Sliding off the car, Maura moved in between Jane's legs and draped her arms over broad shoulders. "Yes, you made a mistake last night. Yes, you made a mistake not realizing that I would never let your fears come true. And your detective work is a little rusty if that didn't cause some warning flags to go up as to why I would protect you so vehemently. All that aside, you made up for those mistakes in spades today. That is why I am here. We are both going to continue to make mistakes and this is never going to go exactly as planned. But I believe you that your heart is where it belongs, with mine. We can definitely make this something more than what it currently is."

Jane's dimples were on full display as she wrapped Maura up and placed her nose in the crook of her neck, holding on tightly. "I love you, Maura. You know that?"

Maura chuckled. "I do." She pulled away slightly so they could look in to one another's eyes before whispering. "I love you too."

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 **A/N I concede the point about pet names. Though to be fair it was 2 in the morning and my editor is unfamiliar with the series.**


	3. Breaking in Shoes

**A/N After reading the comments regarding pet names from Maura, I had to agree it was a little OC. That's what happens when you write at 2 am and your editor isn't familiar with the TV show. Thank you for the reviews and the insight.**

 **I'm not sure how this update is going to be received, so here goes nothing. -K**

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Rizzoli and Isles

Mistakes Made

Breaking in Shoes

Jane, Maura

"I don't think I am going to die in the line of duty. I think the sound of you moaning like that is what is going to be the death of me." A hazel eye shot open and studied the detective.

Closing her eye once more, Maura bit her lip and sank further into the couch, her feet in Jane's lap. "How are you so good at that without having a medical degree?" she breathed out.

Jane gave a soft chuckle and just rubbed the ME's feet more vigorously. "I watch your responses, Doctor. I pay attention. And don't think I haven't noticed that you have been 'breaking in' shoes all week just so I will do this," she gestured to her lap, "every night."

Maura groaned as the Detective accented her point by digging in to a particularly sensitive spot. "You are a very attentive girlfriend" she commented breathlessly. Choosing to ignore the shoe comment, she decided to change the subject. "So where are you taking me for our 4-day weekend? What is the protocol for a 3-month anniversary?"

Gently lifting the feet off her lap, Jane stood from the couch and stretched for a long minute, her blouse and tank top riding as she did so. Maura's eyes were glued to the well-defined olive toned skin just above the low rise of her work slacks. The Doctor had only fleeting glimpses of said skin and even fewer chances to brush her fingers across the planes of the Detectives abdominal muscles. Sighing softly, she pulled her eyes up with great effort only to find amused chocolate eyes looking back at her.

A smirk playing on her lips, Jane answered her earlier question. "Well, I was going to tell you to pack something formal, FYI I'm wearing a royal blue for our night out, a couple of bathing suits, and the rest summer casual with preferably low or no heeled sandals. But now I don't think you deserve that information, so you'll just have to guess."

Scoffing, Maura stood up as well. She trailed her fingers along strong Italian facial features she was now permitted to caress at her leisure. Leaning in slightly, she placed a lingering kiss as close to lips as she dared on Jane's cheek. "Is there any way I can persuade you to spend the night, Detective? I wouldn't want you to go home to an empty townhouse all alone tonight."

Wrapping Maura securely in her arms, Jane rested her head on Maura's as they stayed like that for a few minutes. "You don't have to convince me to do anything, Maur, however I don't want to spend the night until you are ready for something more physical than what we have. I don't want you to feel pressured and I can wait forever so long as you are mine; I just want for you to be happy."

Maura frowned at this. "I want to solidify our connection and ensure the most important thing, our friendship, is intact before we introduce that form of physical intimacy. I know that is a change for me from my previous relationships, however," The Doctor finished so softly, she wasn't sure Jane would hear; "this is the most important relationship I have ever had. I wouldn't survive if it failed."

Jane did hear though, and she pulled Maura against her even tighter. "It won't fail. And even if it does, we have been very careful to keep our friendship paramount." She nudged Maura with her shoulder, "see, I listen when you use big words."

The ME chuckled at this before Jane continued. "When we agreed to see one another we decided that we would go at our pace and not anyone else's. You also showed me that it would never work if we were honest about how we felt and look at you, Maur. You have succeeded where all else have failed. You have gotten Detective Jane Rizzoli to be honest with you about her feelings. I mean, yeah, 90% of the time you still have to ask, but at least I am answering openly and honestly and not running away. See? Miracles do happen on Earth."

In full out laughter Maura replied, "The scientist in me doesn't even believe it. Statistically speaking it was a numeric improbability nearly to the magnitude of an impossibility."

Pulling back, Jane looked at Maura. "Possible, not probable. So much simpler to say."

Rolling her eyes, Maura snuggled back in to Jane's embrace and the brunette continued. "Physically nothing has really changed except we don't need a reason to touch or hug one another anymore. We have been platonically dating for years. I, for one, am so happy that holding you means what I have wished it to mean for so long, that it is all I need right now. Our friendship is stronger than ever and our courtship will be just as solid when we consummate it. No need to stress or talk about it. I love you, you know?"

Squeezing tightly and murmuring into her Detective's neck, she whispered, "I love you too, Jane. Very much so." Maura then sighed and stepped out of the hug, resigned to the fact that she would be sleeping alone once more.

She would run a bath as soon as Jane left and get a little frustration out.

Jane leaned and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. "I'll pick you up at around 6 in the morning. Dress comfortably for a road trip." She called over her shoulder as she walked out the door. "I'll text when I get home."

Maura followed her out the door, "Get home safely, Jane. And I can't wait to hear about your weekend with your girlfriend. We should try and catch dinner on Tuesday to fill one another in." Jane smiled over her shoulder at Maura alluding to the fact that they occasionally still gossiped about their love lives, albeit tongue in cheek, as the best friends they truly where. Once the Detective's car was out of sight, she locked the house up soundly.

Deciding the packing could wait until the morning, she headed upstairs for a hot bath, intent on ridding herself of the tension she seemed to feel non-stop around her Detective.

The text she received a few minutes later made her smile, despite the grammatical deficiencies. 'Home leaving 2morrow fill u in on tues'.


	4. Breathe

**A/N Yeah, this story has become sickeningly sweet... sorry if that isn't your taste. I had originally written this to be a part of the last chapter, but I have a big thing about pacing and thought it would be better to split. If you are enjoying the story thus far, grab your toothbrush and floss. You're probably going to get a cavity.**

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Rizzoli and Isles

Mistakes Made

Breathe

Jane, Maura

Sunday evening found Maura looking out over the beach from the deck of a lovely restaurant while Jane settled their bill inside. The Detective had surprised her with a 7-hour road trip to Rehoboth Beach in Delaware yesterday morning. A fitting destination for their new relationship status.

A throat clearing behind her had Maura turning her head to watch Jane approach. The suit Jane had chosen to wear to dinner this evening was one Maura had never seen before. Hand tailored and fitted to Jane beautifully, the clothing choice exuded strength while still giving her a feminine feel. To compliment her clothing selection, the olive skinned beauty had taken time with her hair and makeup this evening and the results were mesmerizing the Doctor.

Lithe fingers held two full champagne flutes in one hand and a long stem red rose in the other. Twirling the stem as she approached with her patented swagger, Jane was well within Maura's personal space before she came to a stop.

Accepting the closed rose as Jane pressed it into her fingers and nuzzled her cheek, Maura closed her eyes and breathed in. Jane hummed softly and placed the two flutes on the banister behind the Doctor. Strong arms turned Maura around and pulled her in as her Detective protectively held her from behind, Maura's own arms laying atop Jane's as she caressed the petals of her flower.

The couple people watched the beach patrons in silence for a few minutes. Jane nuzzled the Doctor's neck. Maura closed her eyes and sighed quietly before speaking. "I'm exactly where I want to be with exactly whom I want to be with. This must be what people speak of when they speak of contentment."

There was a smile in her voice when Jane responded. "I take it you are enjoying our mini vacation, then."

Maura replied happily. "I most certainly am, though I will admit, I was afraid the weekend would start with an argument when you arrived earlier than I anticipated yesterday and my belongings were covering my bed, vice in bags where they belonged. Instead you just pushed past me with a smile and handed me a latte, telling me to get dressed and that you would pack for me while I did so."

Laughing softly as she replied, "No reason to be upset. We were going on vacation. I purposely didn't plan anything for yesterday evening, I wanted us to take our time so you could experience your very first road trip. And I know I am usually a half hour later than when I tell you I will be there. I was just ready to start my weekend with you."

They were quiet for a few moments once more before the brunette continued. "Speaking of road trip. Was your first one everything you hoped it would be?"

Maura's laugh was instantaneous. "I found our method of transportation to be quite an adventure in and of itself and I look forward to many more excursions with you… though I think I should choose the music next time. And the snacks. Yes, definitely the snacks. I have never ingested that much refined sugar and corn syrup at one time in all my years of existence. As far as I am concerned it never happened and I have blocked it from my memory."

"Geez, Maur! It isn't like I held your mouth open and force fed you. And you were singing along with all the "horrid" 80's rock and 90's R&B too, so don't even go there about my music choices."

Jane's tone turned serious unexpectedly, "I have never seen your face so care free and happy and I will do whatever it takes to see that look on your face for the rest of our lives."

The Doctor answered without hesitation. "You don't need to do anything special Jane, just be you. You make me happy, happier than I can ever recall truly being. Don't over think it. When you are just having fun and doing whatever comes to you is when you are at your best. That's the Jane I fell in love with. That's the one I want to be with."

A few peaceful moments of silence fell upon the ladies once more. The normally husky detective's voice was downright raspy when she broke the quiet. "There isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank Jack for that shot of liquid courage. I am torn over wishing it had come about differently, so that I could be everything you deserve and not wanting a moment to change because then everything would go back to where it was."

Maura turned to face Jane in her embrace. "That's understandable, Jane. I, however, prefer to just be thankful that it happened and that we are finally living the life we have both been apparently desiring for quite some time."

Jane's smile grew slowly, revealing her dimples. "It feels as if we have been dating for years, doesn't it? I mean very little has actually changed in our relationship. That's what I meant by platonically dating."

Maura moved her arms to Jane's neck pressing their foreheads together as they began to gently sway. "I understood what you meant. And yes, I agree. Very little has actually changed in our relationship."

Jane hummed her agreement and they remained in that position until Jane broke the embrace and stepped back. Reaching into the inside pocket of her jacket, she pulled out a black jewelry box.

Maura began to breathe raggedly as her Detective lowered herself onto one knee, her chest heaving with quick and shallow inhalations. "You have to breathe, Maur. Deep, slow breaths." Looking up at the Doctor, Jane waited until Maura had regained her composure once more.

"3 months ago I finally told you how I felt. It took a little more whiskey than I intended and it came out all wrong. The next morning, I made you a promise that I would endeavor to never treat you that poorly again. We really have been dating for years. To an outsider, our relationship began a short time ago, but we know the truth." Taking her own deep breath, Jane opened the box.

"Maura Dorthea Isles. We belong together. There is no question that you are where I am meant to be. Will you spend the rest of your life giving me the chance to make it up for that night? Will you permit me the honor of becoming my wife?" Jane removed the ring from the box.

Maura gasped when she realized she had seen the ring before. It was her mother's mother's ring. The one her grandfather have given her upon returning from the Second World War. "How?"

"I had lunch with Constance and Arthur on Wednesday."

Maura began to breathe rapidly once more. Jane quickly stood up and pulled her to her chest and was rubbing small circles on the small of Maura's back. "Deep, slow breaths, Maur. deep slow breaths."

Regaining her composure after a few moments, Maura moved her hand to rest on Jane's forearm and found her voice, tears streaming down her face. "Yes, yes, I will marry you, Jane Clementine Rizzoli. But I won't do it so that you can make it up to me. I will only marry you so that we may build our life together, the way it has always seemed that is meant to be."

The smile Jane gave Maura was the Doctor's favorite. "I thought you didn't believe in fate, Doctor." Calloused, scarred hands slipped the correctly sized ring onto a perfectly manicured finger.

"I don't believe in fate, Jane. I believe in you and I."


	5. Catholic Girl Clichés

Rizzoli and Isles

Mistakes Made

Catholic Girl Clichés

Jane, Maura

Jane's text message alert sounded on Maura's phone. Smiling, the blonde unlocked the screen to read the message her fiancé had sent her. As she began reading the words, the grin slid from her face, quickly becoming a frown.

J: home safe c u sun

It was Friday evening and they had just arrived at their respective residences after spending a long week on a frustrating case and the evening at a charity event Maura was attending on behalf of The Isle's Foundation.

Maura contemplated the text for a few moments. When they were just friends she would have simply been disappointed and granted Jane the space she so obviously craved. However, things were different now, and they had made an agreement to be truly give this relationship their all. Especially when they were confused or when one of them wanted to run as she was afraid her detective was wanting to do.

Picking up the phone, the Doctor determined the approach she would take before hitting the call button.

After the second ring, Jane answered, her voice scratchy. "Hey, Maur. What's up?"

Maura chose her words carefully. "Hello Jane. Thank you for sending the text alerting me that you were home."

Jane cleared her throat, "I have been trying to make an effort, Maur. You don't have to thank me every time."

Slipping her heels off as she walked in to her room to put them away, Maura answered. "I know. I just wanted you to know I appreciate the effort." Maura paused before continuing, a phone call between them hadn't been this awkward for years. "Will we not be going to the Market tomorrow like we have been every Saturday? And correct me if I am wrong, but isn't this my weekend to take you out on a date?"

The Doctor could hear Jane's sigh and braced herself for undoubtedly snarky reply that was about to be directed at her. "We can go to the Market tomorrow, but I would like to make it a little later than we normally go. I could really use some down time in the morning."

Walking to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine, Maura gave Jane time to form the thought she was struggling with. "As for the date, I did promise you we could do anything you want tomorrow night. Just… I can't…. we can't…. No more dancing? Ok? I really need to go, see you in the morning."

Taking the phone from her ear and looking at the screen indicating that the call had ended, Maura's mouth actually fell open in surprise. Scenarios and queries began to occupy her thought processes. Why didn't she tell me she loved me? Why did she, for all intents and purposes, hang up on me? She has always disliked dancing, yet why was she reacting so strongly now?

Understanding very little aside from the fact that there were a lot of unanswered questions and they very obviously needed to have a discussion, preferably tonight when everything was so close to the surface already, Maura retrieved her heels, gathered her keys and purse, and made her way to the house of a certain detective, leaving the glass of wine untouched on her kitchen counter. This conversation was going to happen tonight and it was going to happen in person.

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Standing in front of the door to the townhouse Jane was house sitting, the Doctor contemplated going in, as she always did, or knocking on the door to allow the Detective a little control. Her indecision was answered when the lock switched and the door swung open, revealing a barefoot Jane in the same attire she was wearing this evening with the blouse untucked and unbuttoned and her trousers low on her hips. "You never have to knock, Maur. I told you, you are always welcome here. Nothing changes that. Don't start doubting that now."

Swallowing forcefully, Maura let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and entered the foyer. Jane's left hand instinctively went to the small of the Doctor's back as she reached behind closing and securing the door with her right.

With gentle pressure from her fingertips, Jane guided Maura through to the kitchen. "We are both going to need something to drink if we are going to talk about this tonight."

Sitting on a barstool, the ME observed her fiancé prepare the drinks. "You aren't even going to pretend that there is nothing wrong?"

Taking two glasses down from the cabinet, Jane scoffed. "We left the event we were at tonight rather suddenly. I told you I wasn't going to see you until Sunday afternoon, and now you are here after the most awkward phone conversation you and I have ever had. Obviously you want to talk and I am too old to go running away from my own house. Red or White?"

"Red please." Deciding to forgo the pleasantries and get right to the matter at hand, Maura jumped in. "Why did you need some space this weekend?"

Jane's answer was immediate. "Oh hell no. If we are going to do this tonight, let's start at the beginning. Why did you collect me so suddenly to leave this evening after you were…" her voice trailed for a moment before she settled on the words she was looking for, "so obviously enthralled by the conversation with that douche at the bar?"

Maura felt the capillaries in her cheeks opening and knew that with her complexion, there was no hope that Jane wouldn't notice. Unable to look her detective in the eye, she focused on the wine glass that had been slid into her hands as she answered. "The conversation you are referring to was never started because I was interested in anything he actually had to say. I was trying to" her voice trailed off for a moment as she decided on how to word it. "I was attempting to encourage you to lay claim to me."

Swallowing roughly, Jane choked for a moment before speaking incredulously. "You were trying to make me jealous, Maur? Seriously?! Why would you do that? Do you know how hard I have been working to behave in a way which would make you happy? You can't pull that teenage shit on me! What. The. Fuck. What the actual fuck were you thinking?" Jane was pacing now, her hands gesticulating her point wildly. She gained her composure before steadying herself.

Jane walked over and placed her hands on Maura's where they rested on the wine glass. Her next words to Maura were spoken measuredly. "Maura. I will do anything for you. A little teasing like that may be fine once we have," Jane gestured between the two of them "you know. But you cannot do things like that right now. We haven't even kissed. I can't lay claim to you because I don't have any claim to lay! Do you have any idea how much that tests my self-control? Is that why we left early?"

Maura looked up at the ceiling before meeting Jane's eyes. "No, it isn't," she said at a volume just above a whisper. "When I stepped away to use the restroom, a woman whom I have known for years approached me."

A brunette eyebrow arched. Now the Detective employed her waiting technique on the Doctor. Sighing, Maura continued. "She made note of your grip on the bar and your beer bottle, the tense muscles in your neck, and the clenching of your teeth. She offered to 'take you off my hands' and take you home to help you 'relieve' that tension since I so obviously wasn't willing." Hazel eyes cut to the side as she rushed the last part out.

A soft, deep chuckle came from Jane. "Soooo…. Your plan backfired on you and you ended up getting jealous enough yourself that we left immediately."

A barely perceptible nod was the only answer that was forthcoming from the Doctor.

Slowly, Jane strutted around the bar, coming up behind her fiancé. Wordlessly she turned Maura around and brought her arms around her neck, then placed a kiss on the ME's forehead before pressing her head in the crook of her neck.

Humming at the closeness, Maura began again. "Jane…. It feels as if you have been holding back in our relationship. You seem hesitant to claim me in public. You are hardly ever snarky anymore and you are always amiable to everything I suggest. I'm concerned that you are hesitant to be yourself in our relationship."

What began as a snort from the tall brunette became a rumbling chuckle before finally settling into raucous laughter. "Are you saying I am being too easy on you, Doctor? Aren't you always telling me I should argue with you less?"

Despite Jane's reaction, Maura couldn't bring herself to join in the levity. "I am serious Jane. You are acting in a fashion similar to the men I have dated in the past. I don't want someone who gives in to my every whim. I need you to be the one who would always stand up to me and push me out of my comfort zone. Stop being so damn scared of me! Of us!"

Maura's volume had increased as she spoke, the last two sentences being spoken forcefully. Jane pulled back in surprise at the Doctor's anger. She pushed away and began to pace, her response as forceful as Maura's, hands flying as she spoke. "Have you ever considered that I made snide comments before because I was trying to hide how adorable I thought you were? Did it occur to you that I was avoiding discussing sex or relationships because I was hiding how I truly felt for you and that it killed me to discuss things like that with the person I wanted to do those things, knowing she was doing those things with other people? Trust me, if I was really upset about something, I would let you fucking know! I'm happy, God Damnit, and I am treating you the way I have always felt you should be treated! Not the way every other ass clown has treated you. Why is that such a bad thing?!"

Jane began to breathe slowly and deeply, trying to control herself. She stopped pacing at the window and was watching the traffic below. "In all my past relationships I have never put another person first. I have never tried so hard to tell them what and how I am feeling. I have never cared more about them than I do the job or my own feelings. I still tease you about your shoes and make fun of your documentaries and scoff that you only drink wine. Yes, I give in more often than not, but why wouldn't I? I would die for you when you were my friend… Imagine what I wouldn't do to make you happy now. I'm happy, really happy for the first time in my life, and I just want you to be happy. Why is that such a bad thing?" What had begun as an angry shout from Jane, quickly turned into a nearly pleading mumble.

Slowly Maura approached Jane from behind. She lightly ran her right hand up Jane's back and down her shoulder to her hand, alerting the Detective to her presence before wrapping her arms under Jane's and burying her face in chocolate curls as she sank into the lithe body. When the Doctor spoke, it was muffled slightly by the position of her face. "This is why I don't enjoy guessing. I don't do it very well. I have made assumptions based on my observations without taking into account the variable that is quite simply you. I will make it a priority to not repeat this mistake."

A deep, soft chuckle resonated under Maura's arms. "Is that your way of saying you learn from your mistakes?" The Doctor wordlessly replied with a nod.

A sudden thought occurred to the blonde. "Why can't we go dancing, Jane?"

Leaning onto her arm that was resting along the window, Jane sighed. "Of course I couldn't get that one to slip by you." Straightening her posture, Jane turned around and pulled back slightly from Maura. She chuckled mirthlessly before kissing her on the head and walking to the bar to retrieve her forgotten beer before sitting on the couch. She sat at the end of the couch, holding the bottle in her lap while leaning her head and body against the backrest before closing her eyes.

Knowing that Jane wouldn't begin speaking until Maura was sitting as well and determining from the Detective's body language that she didn't want to cuddle right now, the Doctor took the cushion on the other side of the couch her wine glass in hand as she curled her now shoeless feet beneath her.

Once the Doctor was settled, Jane began speaking. "I can't watch you dance again until I can put my hands on you. I am so frustrated by the time I get home; I can't even watch TV for fear that I might see a woman who resembles you slightly. It is actually painful for me."

Maura responded promptly. "This whole no touching or kissing thing has gone too far. Why do you insist on it and why don't you masturbate? There hasn't been a night we have spent together that I haven't."

Jane replied softly, "I wanted you to know that I can wait. This isn't about the physical for me. This is about our connection. Our souls becoming one. And the added bonus is the anticipation of our honeymoon. You are only going to need enough clothing for a single bag for a month long trip."

"You know that isn't going to happen, Jane. For a trip that long you are going to need to work out ahead of time to be able to carry all my bags. And I'll start preparing for the month long honeymoon now." Maura sipped her wine, a sly grin on her face.

"She's got jokes, folks." Jane replied playfully but still subdued.

Maura pressed the issue once again. "But that doesn't answer my question as to why you don't relieve a little tension. You don't have to do it as often as I do, but every once in a while would really ease some of the physical discomfort."

Brown eyes remained closed as the brunette answered. "I was raised Catholic." Maura leaned in to say something and Jane held up her hand, letting her know she wasn't avoiding the question and was going to answer. "As I was saying. I was raised Catholic. Obviously I don't agree with a lot of the teachings as our life together can attest. Now, what people who aren't brought up in a house with a strict religious background don't understand is that a lot of the faith is based on control. And how do you control young, innocent people?" Warm eyes opened as Jane looked over at Maura with a raised eyebrow. "The best way to make someone want to do something is guilt."

Jane chuckled mirthlessly. "Catholic guilt is a cliché for a good reason. From a young age we are taught that masturbation is a major sin. It is beat into us like a metronome. As a Catholic you don't masturbate, you don't look at porn, and you don't get divorced. Everything else can be excused…. Except for the gay thing. You aren't even allowed to speak about that and that is a whole other topic that doesn't even exist as far as they are concerned. So, in short. No, Maura. I don't masturbate that much. And when I am in a relationship, I don't do it at all. It almost feels like cheating."

After a few moments Maura spoke again. "So, when I was informing you that hair twirling was a sign of sexual frustration, there really wasn't anything you could do about it?"

Curl's bounced as Jane shook her head. After a few thoughtful moments, the sly grin returned to the Doctor's face. "So does that mean the other cliché about Catholic girls being naughty is also true?" A perfectly sculpted eyebrow rose in question?

Jane's laugh began softly and this time Maura joined in. Their voices combined until both had tears in their eyes and they were clutching at one another trying to gain control of their breathing once more. Maura rested her head on Jane's chest as the brunette wrapped her up from behind and reclined on a sofa arm.

As the two gathered some control of themselves, the Doctor continued. "Have you been avoiding spending the night with me because you think it is improper?"

With laughter in her voice, Jane responded. "No, it's nothing like that. How many nights did we spend together before we were dating when I was aware of my feelings for you. The truth is I am afraid I won't be able to abide by the rules I have set for myself. I know it seems rough now and I know that you would never think I only wanted you for your body, but I am enjoying the anticipation and build up. Quite frankly, I am ready to get married now. Speaking of, let's set a date tonight. I think it would help to see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel, so to speak."

Capillaries in the Doctor's face began to expand again. "I may have already done that, Jane." She looked at the floor as she mumbled "and more."

Confusion passed over Jane's face for a moment before she poked Maura's side. "What exactly more are you talking about… Maur?"

"Our wedding is next Saturday at a house I rented on the beach. I was planning on surprising you on Thursday." Jane's entire body tensed and Maura prepared herself for Jane to push her off her lap once more.

The Detective clenched and released the fingers of her left hand for a moment before she willfully relaxed the muscles in her body and leaned back pulling the surprised Doctor with her. "I am a little pissed off by that, Maur. It's my wedding too. I would like a say in it." There was a quiet moment before she sighed. "You probably thought you were doing me a favor and I really don't mind the short notice. However. I wanted to plan my own wedding."

Maura was genuinely confused. "Jane, when we spoke about our dream weddings, you said you didn't really care or you wanted a wedding at home plate in Fenway. I thought you didn't really care about your wedding."

Chuckling softly, Jane answered. "Think about it, Maur. The person I wanted to marry asked me about my dream wedding, but I hadn't told her that it included her yet. At least not in the way she would expect to be included. I think you being my Maid of Honor would be just a little weird, even for us. So, I improvised. I came up with plans I knew would never include you as my bride and put something out there to cover up how I felt. I had never thought about it until then, but the moment you said that to me it felt like a kick to the chest. The only person I wanted standing in front of me was you. Even if we were about to be swallowed by lava."

Playing with Jane's fingers quietly for a moment, Maura tried to absorb everything she had just been told. "You really have been waiting a long time, haven't you?" Changing her tone to a more serious one so Jane would understand the gravity of the moment, Maura continued. "Jane, will you marry me next Saturday?"

After a few moments of thoughtful silence, Jane uncharacteristically gave Maura a serious answer. "Yes, but I get to pick out my own dress and you don't get to see it."

Maura answered immediately. "Really?! I thought for sure you would want a suit. Of course you can pick your own dress."

They passed fifteen or so minutes in comfortable silence, each lost in their own worlds before Maura broke it once more. "If I promise to behave myself and not cross the boundaries you have established; would you be willing to let me sleep in your arms until our wedding? I really do miss you at night, we both sleep better, and quite frankly, we both have less nightmares."

Jane kissed Maura's temple before pulling her in tightly. "I think we can arrange that."

After a few more minutes of silence, Maura spoke again softly. "Make sure you pack your Catholic School uniform for our honeymoon."

The quiet was instantly shattered by a husky voice. "Maaaauuuurrrrrr!"

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 **A/N Thank you to everyone for the continued support. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I also hope the length makes up for the delay in updates. There will only be one more update to this, but I am definitely working on some other stuff for y'all. IM or Review if you are so inclined. I value your input.**


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